Not easy

Victim to countless moments. The fear of memories, once so blessed and heart warming, now dreaded and sorrowful. I am told to embrace each, to make them my own, again, and wear them triumphantly as admirable scars.

Easier said then done.

Endlessness

Sadness is overwhelming. A choice to be sad. But nonetheless chosen.  Close friends to sorrow. And I have deep deep sorrow. Time is not kind to broken hearts. It lengthens and slows to devastate utterly.

Capacity to love endless? Then I have endless sadness.

Not enough

Sense has vanished. Finding myself within a torrent of sound, and suddenly, silence. My mind turns inward. Blank. I'm confused. Why am I here? I don't understand.

How can love fail?

Love. It is not enough.

Alone

Does another stand a chance? I ask myself, having found the one you were born for, how can another ever hope to take their place? Moreover, how could I let someone? There is no room in my heart, its not even mine, so what would I give?

I feel alone.

I know what I know

Why does longing beget longing? Or misery secure more misery? It gets worse each day, though I hide and fortify walls, I am, expectedly, fragile.  Two lives so intertwined do not unlock. Stubborn knots have a better chance of being free! I am constantly assaulted and overwhelmed by my own emotion. Though I rationalize, I know deeper still that its farce.

I know what I know. And I love her unendingly.

Old Acquaintences

Old acquaintances ask, "how are you and the lovely lady?" What do I say? How do I answer questions that spear the heart? Like me, none understand why. How could our tale end? All stand shocked. All recognize the tragedy. Not just for us but what it means to humanity for us to fail. We were more than a symbol of hope. We shone. The fire in our hearts burned with unabated love. And now? I am the husk of hope. A relic of crushed dreams.

I pity those who ask questions. They do not know what they unleash.

We share music

We share music. Do you know how rare that is? Our tastes align. Perfectly. In every which way. We appreciate, together. Now, every song is a new wound. All these lyrics cloud my mind. Emotions disturbed constantly. So much I want to share with you.  So much to listen too. Songs stir my soul. And with each movement, I am remind of what we no longer have.

And I burn.

How could you

Damaged. How else can I describe myself? Plagued all day, all nights with thoughts of her. And as I hate, I realize, I love. Unbearable pain. How could you?

Facebook and it's damn friend-of-a-friend sharing. One picture and my walls crumble. One picture and I'm left devastated and in ruin. You look wonderful. And I am still in love.

How could you? How could you.